Crazy Quest
by Serb
Summary: Dumbledore sends Snape,Trelawney,Filch and Hagrid on a quest throughout Europe. Paris funfair, shopping in Yugoslavia, skiing in Cyprus mountains, karate in Germany and more! REad + Review
1. Quest begins!

Crazy Quest  
  
( All characters belong to J.K. Rowling)  
  
Writer's note: OK guys, this is the story I have promised you. Do not blame me for the characters how they act because this is how I see them. Enjoy this story.  
  
The staff came into the staff room by Dumbledore's orders.  
  
"Do you know what is going on?" asked Julia Sprout.  
  
"I don't know," answered back McGonagall.  
  
The Headmaster sat on the highest chair, watching the staff file in. McGonagall was arguing with Snape which House will win the upcoming Quidditch match, Trelawney was murmuring about seeing some death omens, Sprout was nervous, Filch was slinking about in the corner, Hagrid was swaying ( he had drunk too much wine at dinner) and Vector and Sinistra were chatting happily about reading some articles from the Daily Prophet.  
  
"Staff members from Hogwarts!" announced Albus standing up, "as you know, Hogwarts is in constant danger from Death Eater raids.  
  
"Our college, Professor Snape, has discovered that the main Death Eaters have been spread out across Europe doing specific 'missions' for Voldemort. Four of our staff members will go on the quest to stop them."  
  
"And who are these members?" asked Snape.  
  
" They are Trelawney, Filch, Hagrid and you Severus!" said Dumbledore.  
  
The staff exploded in series of protesting and confusion.  
  
"You can't seriously mean that Hedmaster!" exclaimed Minerva.  
  
"I will have nothing to do with these people!" snarled Snape.  
  
Albus calmed them down.  
  
"No protests please! You are going to go now by this portkey." Yelled Albus over the noise pointing to a lamp on the table.  
  
"Frederick Flitwick will be waiting for you and will tell you where to go on your destination." Explained Albus.  
  
Reluctantly, Snape, Trelawney, Filch and Hagrid touched the lamp. They were immediately jerked off and were carried to another place.  
  
When they landed, they looked around an unfamiliar surrounding. They were in the middle of a noisy street.  
  
"Where are we?" asked Sibyll, dizzy from her journey.  
  
Snape looked around and saw in the distance a familiar building he saw in pictures: the Eiffel Tower!  
  
"We are in France!" roared Snape angrily, "Albus portkeyed us all the way to bloody France!" * No insult France! *  
  
"Very far away…" murmured Hagrid trying to get it into his brain.  
  
"And Frederick is supposed to wait for us here!" shrieked Filch in his shabby coat among well-dressed people who were watching him.  
  
"Excuse me, I'm right here," piped up a familiar voice underneath them.  
  
They turned to see Flitwick dressed in toddler's dungarees (apparently he couldn't find any muggle outfit to fit him).  
  
"Come with me," he motioned them with a tiny hand.  
  
They went to 'Luna Café' which was quite near. Sitting down in fancy chairs (Hagrid squashed one under his weight) they launched into the plan.  
  
"Now," squeaked Flitwick under the table importantly, "you all have to go to Italy('one of my family estates are there!' exclaimed Snape), Yugoslavia, Cyprus, Germany, Romania and Greece."  
  
"Is that it?" asked Sibyll with having everyone looking at her and then shaking their heads.  
  
They have decided to go and have fun in Paris while they were there.  
  
"Let's go to a funfair!" roared Hagrid thumping his fist on the table, breaking it.  
  
And that's where they will go, they decided. 


	2. Paris Funfair

Crazy Quest  
  
( All characters belong to J.K. Rowling)  
  
Writer's note: OK guys, this is the story I have promised you. Do not blame me for the characters how they act because this is how I see them. Enjoy this story.  
  
As they arrived to the funfair, its attractive lights and people amazed them. Snape, Trelawney, Filch and Hagrid had their wizard's clothes transformed into ordinary muggle clothes (Hagrid was to big for trousers so he had to wear XXXL shorts, which were barely up to his knees).  
  
"Where shall we go?" asked Argus Filch excitedly in his blue jeans and cowboy jacket.  
  
"Let's go to the Big Wheel!" answered excited Sibyl in her purple dress with polka dots.  
  
As they arrived to pay the tickets, the ticket seller looked suspiciously up at Hagrid, but looked straight away when Hagrid growled back at him.  
  
They barely fit inside the cabin with huge Hagrid suffocating them all, but they managed.  
  
"The wheel is going very slowly," remarked doubtful Filch.  
  
"That's because Hagrid's huge weight is stopping it!" snarled Severus angrily, squashed against the wall.  
  
At last, when the grate fully came off (the ride took 1 hour because of Hagrid, not to mention getting stuck at the top, with Filch being sick on somebody's ice-cream because he was afraid of heights) they made their way to the coconut shooting.  
  
Hagrid took three shots, hitting with all his might at the coconuts, but missing and making holes in the wall.  
  
"Test your strength on the scale! Hit the scale with a hammer and if you are strong enough, the scale will hit the bell and you will get the prize!" shouted a man above the crowd.  
  
Frederick got excited and wanted to have a go. When he went to the scale, he puffed up proudly and he took the hammer.  
  
"Hiiiiiiiiijjjjjaaaaaaaaaa!!!" he screeched, wanting to sound like a Japanese Kung-fu master but only succeeded to sound like a squealing canary when he swung the hammer.  
  
He hit the point, making the scale rise only 1cm.  
  
Everybody laughed at him, but when it was Hagrid's turn they became quiet. When he hit the point, not only did the scale hit the bell, but it crashed into the bell, making the bell soar ringing into the night sky.  
  
Sibyll went to a fortuneteller, to speak to a college to show her future. But a few minutes afterwards, the fortuneteller went screaming out of her tent with Sibyll angrily pulling her hair and yelling curses at her(not hexes but verbal curses).  
  
"What is the matter?" asked Severus.  
  
"That #$*@^^% woman *this is PG* thinks she could trick me?! She doesn't know how to read cards. And her crystal ball's a fake!" pointed out Sibyll angrily.  
  
  
  
  
  
Snape went to shooting matches, hitting in the bull's eye all the time and making people look at him in wonder.  
  
"Great shooting!" cheered his 'collegues'.  
  
  
  
When they went on the rollercoaster that's what was really funny.  
  
As they were going upside down, up and around, Hagrid was roaring in fear with all his might, Snape was yelling that is was more fun than playing Quidditch, Sibyll was staring wide-eyed and clutching Severus with all her might, Argus clenched his eyes shut and prayed that they would survive and Flitwick was almost flying but charmed himself to stay down.  
  
  
  
  
  
Later, they went home to Flitwick's tiny hotel room. They barely survived the night with lying on the floor and Hagrid snoring in their ears.  
  
The next day they went to the airport to get on with their journey. 


	3. Shopping in Yugoslavia

Crazy Quest  
  
( All characters belong to J.K. Rowling)  
  
Writer's note: OK guys, this is the story I have promised you. Do not blame me for the characters how they act because this is how I see them. Enjoy this story. I need more jokes!  
  
When they arrived at the airport, Flitwick gave them tickets for Yugoslavia and told them a Serbian friend, Dushan Popovic, will wait for them and show them around. He bid them good-bye and they went onto the plane.  
  
It was tricky to get there, because the security kept stopping them because they looked weird( Hagrid still had his XXXL shorts on, Sibyll still in her purple polka dot dress, Filch in his weird costume and Snape was wearing a leather black coat and looked like the member of the Mafia) but they managed.  
  
When they got there first they barely found their seats, and when they did, they couldn't calm down. Once the plane started, Sibyll almoast jumped out of her seat in surprise if she wasn't strapped down, Filch started to moan like a wounded dog and Snape and Hagrid were sleeping during the flight.  
  
When they arrived, they didn't know where the passport control is until a guard showed them. They barely found where to look for baggage, 'blasted muggles' as Snape said.  
  
When they got out, they found a young blond man with gentle blue eyes coming to meet them.  
  
" You must be the Hogwarts professors that Albus told me about! I'm Dushan, and welcome to Yugoslavia! I'll take you to Belgrade, and will take you to a hotel for you to stay." He said merrily. They immediately liked him.  
  
They went by taxi to a nearby hotel and rented a room.  
  
"What shall we wear?" asked Sibyll desperately, "we can't go on with this with no other clothes!"  
  
"I'll take you to the nearby Buvljak, our open market, and you will by new clothes!" answered Dushan.  
  
  
  
They went there. It was interesting.  
  
People were at the stalls not only selling clothes, but CDs, house hold things and more. It was crowded.  
  
Filch bought a mop and bucket.  
  
"For self-defence!" he explained. *You'll see*  
  
They also bought small suitcases and magically transformed them to have an extra space for clothes, which they could carry around. They bought lots of clothes (Severus mainly bought black but also something green).  
  
"Do yeh have a wizard's shop?" asked Hagrid.  
  
Dushan took them there, 'Stari Krojaci' (Old Tailors) shop that sold many things. There they bought some decent clothes (they mainly bought muggle dresses to make them into robes, Hagrid bought a pink one, which reached up to his knees).  
  
Snape bought a rare Animagi necklace which when you put it around your neck, you can turn into an animal.  
  
Suddenly, they noticed a person hiding in the shadows…Avery, one of the Death Eaters.  
  
"Get him!" yelled Snape. Avery ran and they began to chase him.  
  
When he ran away into a dark room, just when he thought it was safe, Filch stepped out of the shadows.  
  
"Go away squib!" he sneered at him.  
  
"No one calls me squib!" roars Argus "HIIIJJAAA!" he takes out his mop and bucket. Filch threw his bucket at Snape who was right behind Avery. He put the bucket on Avery's head, Filch hit with his mop on the head, making Avery unconsious. 


	4. Flamenco dancing in Athens

Crazy Quest  
  
( All characters belong to J.K. Rowling)  
  
Writer's note: OK guys, this is the story I have promised you. Do not blame me for the characters how they act because this is how I see them. Enjoy this story. I need more jokes!  
  
They took unconscious Avery to the Yugoslavian Ministry of Magic. They thanked them for catching him and told them they would have to go to Greece by portkey.  
  
There was a group of Death Eaters who would stay for entertainment in the Parthenon itself! Severus, Sybil, Argus and Hagrid were portkeyed in front of the Parthenon. IT was night.  
  
"How shall we get in?" asked Sibyl in wonder.  
  
"Psst! Hey!" said a familiar voice…Minerva!  
  
"Minerva, what are you doing here?" asked Severus irritably.  
  
"Albus sent me here to help you catch the Death Eaters," she explained "quick, hide in the bushes!"  
  
Just as they hid in the bushes, a group of flamenco dancers came by.  
  
"So this is the Death Eater entertainment tonight!" said Argus.  
  
However Snape was thinking of a plan.  
  
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" he asked them excitedly. They shook their heads. Apparently not.  
  
Snape shot a stunning curse at flamenco dancers and they all fell, stunned.  
  
"Let's take their clothes," he said.  
  
"Severus, this no time for stripping women!" snapped Minerva at him.  
  
"No, we are going to take their clothes, act as flamenco dansers, and catch all the Death Eaters." He explained.  
  
As they dressed themselves up they looked really weird. Snape looked too masculine in the dress, Trelawney was alright, Minerva looked like a pensioned one, Hagrid's dress (even when they put the enlarging charm) reached up to his knees revealing very hairy big legs. Argus dressed himself up as the guitarist but looked very suspicious in his smart clothes.  
  
They got in dancing, while Argus was skipping around them playing the guitar badly. The hooded Death Eaters watched them. Sibyl danced alright, Minerva could do better, Snape kept tripping over his dress and Hagrid was doing a jig (apparently he knew no other dance).  
  
  
  
"Aaaaaa…!" sang Minerva trying to sing like the Spanish dancers but only succeeded to sound like a crossover of a dying man and Tarzan.  
  
"I don't know if we should clap to her or give her First Aid!" said one Death Eater to another.  
  
Hagrid began to sing.  
  
"Granuda! where the sun burns me skin!  
  
If only yeh can speak what a fascinating pal yeh been!"  
  
"Aaaaaaaa!" interrupted Minerva with her sound crossover.  
  
  
  
"If only I were in yeh big arms you will see  
  
What I mean todeee!!!" (saying instead of today)  
  
  
  
"Aiiiiijjaajaii!" yelled Snape in a Spanish voice.  
  
They were dancing in circles, getting dizzy. Suddenly many things happened.  
  
Hagrid fell dizzily on top of Snape, Trelawney , Minerva and Filch (breaking the guitar) and Aurors came rushing in, capturing the Death Eaters.  
  
"Great! They are all caught! And where are the heroes?" asked the chief Greek Auror.  
  
The 'heroes' were lying squashed under the hero Hagrid, unconscious and extremely dizzy.  
  
Writer's note: I got the idea from the old English series 'Alo, alo'. I changed the song a bit. 


	5. Skiing on Cyprus mountains

Crazy Quest  
  
(Dushan is my character. Everyone else is J.K. Rowling's.)  
  
When they at last regained consciousness from the humiliating adventure, the Greek Ministry of Magic gave them a portkey, which will take them to Cyprus, Limassol.  
  
"Not again!" groaned Snape as they touched the portkey. After a sickening lurch, they found themselves in the middle of Makarios Avenue in Limassol.  
  
"Where shall we go now?" asked Sibyll.  
  
"Ahem! Hey, guys!" said another familiar voice (they hear too many familiar voices don't you think?). It was Dushan!  
  
"What are you doing here?" asked Severus, flabbergasted.  
  
"I have come to take you on your next mission," he explained.  
  
"Will we go to the sea?" asked Sibyl eyeing the sea with pleasure.  
  
"Mmmhmm…" agreed Argus dreamily.  
  
"No, we are going to Trodos Mountains!" Dushan exclaimed.  
  
"What will we do there?" asked Rubeus Hagrid, uncertainly.  
  
"Well you can always go skiing…" said thoughtfully Dushan, wondering himself.  
  
"Skiing!" shrieked Snape" In the middle of the summer! On Cyprus especially!" (Look at the world map to see where Cyprus is)  
  
  
  
But they still went, despite their protests.  
  
The journey was very long, going up the mountains. At last, they arrived to a small hotel next to skiing places.  
  
"Let's go skiing!" exclaimed Hagrid, pulling them all.  
  
  
  
  
  
It was hard to ski, for there was no snow (only a bit at the top, but it doesn't count). Once they reached snow, they stepped into the snow, hearing a 'squish' of melting ice under their feet.  
  
"If only the staff saw us, they would laugh their heads off!" grumbled Snape through gritted teeth. (Minerva isn't here, if you want to know)  
  
"I wished if we could stay by the sea," said Sibyl sadly.  
  
  
  
Suddenly, they saw someone watching them in the distance. They looked like a couple, but awfully familiar…  
  
"Lestranges!" hissed Severus.  
  
"I thought they were in Askaban?" said confused Argus.  
  
"Apparently, they escaped," said Dushan.  
  
"Get them!" roared Hagrid, and they all charged.  
  
The Lestranges saw them and ran round the corner with the guys skiing at their heels. When the guys turned around the corner, they accidentally attacked an old couple.  
  
"How dare you!" roared the old woman hitting them with her handbag, which felt as if it was filled with a ton of bricks.  
  
Sighing, Dushan took out his wand and Oblivated them, making them wonder if it was Christmas already.  
  
They saw the Lestranges in the distance and soon caught up with them.  
  
Snape took out a sleeping dart and hit Mr. Lestranger. She immediately fell asleep.  
  
Filch took out his faithful mop, bashing the Mrs. Lestrange into unconsciousness.  
  
Snape and Filch were cheered as heroes, and Severus earned a kiss on the cheek by Sibyl, which made him blush.  
  
The Ministry of Magic soon arrived, taking the Lestrangers away, and the guys going on with their journey. 


	6. Orthodox Church in Italy

Crazy Quest  
  
(Dushan is my character. Everyone else is J.K. Rowling's.) I have once snuck a peek at the Catholic Church inside and I'm surprised you don't have painted pictures on walls. So, I'm going to tell you how my kind of church looks inside.  
  
When at last the Cypriot Ministry of Magic came (learning a lot about of Ministries of Magic aren't we?) and took away the Lestrangers, our friends were given a portkey.  
  
"Not again!" groaned Snape, as they all touched it.  
  
They were yanked into a city where there was the Piza Tower leaning over them.  
  
"Thank god at last!" roared Snape happily for the first time in his life, "We're in Italy!"  
  
Severus took them to his rich family manor in the countryside. He explained them that his mother was a pureblood Italian witch, and his grandfather lived there.  
  
"He died when a hippogriff trampled over him," explained Severus, "shame, I really liked him."  
  
Snape's house was magnificent. The floors were made of wonderful green marble and he had a huge library filled with priceless old books, dated since Hogwart's Founders time.  
  
"Can you take us around?" asked Sibyl.  
  
Suddenly, there was a crash behind them. They turned around and saw Filch standing over an old broken Chinese vase from the Ying dynasty.  
  
"That darn fragile thing broke once I hit the fly that was standing on it with my mop!" he grumbled.  
  
*****  
  
They were walking down the streets of Rome when the came to an Orthodox Church *I'm Orthodox! *.  
  
"Let's go inside!" exclaimed Dushan happily "I'll show you around!"  
  
Inside was nothing like the Catholic Church. There were paintings of the saints, Jesus and Mary on the walls. It looked beautiful. * Visit an Orthodox Church one-day. *  
  
"The paintings in my language are called 'Frescas' " said Dushan.  
  
They came to a priest. Like all Orthodox priests, he wore a black robe and let his beard grow. But he looked familiar...  
  
"Look another Snape, but with a beard!" chuckled Hagrid.  
  
"Shut up!" hissed Snape, accidentally in Italian. He had a perfect accent.  
  
"No swearing my child!" said the priest, but when he saw a couple of Catholic priests pass by, he said something very unholy to them and they did the same.  
  
A couple came to the church and they wanted their baby daughter to be baptized.  
  
As the priest was about to baptize the girl, he bent close and smiled kindly at her. When she saw his beard, she gave a small shriek and yanked the beard as hard as she can!  
  
But the beard was a fake and came of! It was Nott!  
  
"Catch him!" roared Snape, as he took out his wand.  
  
The others did the same and stupified Nott before he was able to move.  
  
"That was easy!" sighed Trelawney.  
  
At once the real priest came!  
  
"Get out you demons! Out!" he roared, kicking them all out through the door.  
  
As they sat there, Dushan spoke up: "That priest has a good leg. He surely plays football!" 


	7. Swiss watches in Romania

Crazy Quest  
  
(Dushan is my character. Everyone else is J.K. Rowling's.)  
  
  
  
This time our friends took Nott to the ministry instead vice versa (Aha!).  
  
In they came, smelling of incense, inside the ministry. Soon, some Aurors came by and took Nott as a hostage with them, leaving our friends with a portkey disguised as pizza.  
  
When they touched the portkey, smearing their fingers with ketchup, they were yanked into a new place. They were in front of a wood and some gypsies passed by.  
  
"We're in Romania!" exclaimed Sybil, "I know a bit of Romany. Let's look around."  
  
They walked by and came to a gypsy camp. Suddenly somebody familiar came rushing up to them, a famous person whom we all know, who can only fit in children's clothes….  
  
"Flitwick!" this time exclaimed Hagrid, "What are yeh doing here!?"  
  
"I have come to give you a message," piped up Flitwick, "Albus said that one of the Death Eaters, Macnair, is hiding in this camp!"  
  
"What are we waiting for? Let's go!" said Snape.  
  
They all marched up proudly to the camp, with action-ready Sybil in the lead with Severus in her swishing purple (perfume smelling) robes.  
  
In the camp they heard that if you beat up the strongest gypsy in the camp, you would get as a reward…a Swiss watch.  
  
"I want to have a go!" yelled tiny Flitwick, volunteering, " I can fight without a wand!"  
  
He got into the circle before anyone could protest. In the circle was his opponent: a huge, strong, 2 meter tall gypsy.  
  
Flitwick wasted no time.  
  
"Hiiiiiijjjjjjjjjjjjjjaaaaa!!!!!!" he shrieked in a warrior-like way, jumping on the gypsy.  
  
He pulled the gypsy's hair, but the gypsy simply shrugged him off. The gypsy held Flitwick by the robes, while Flitwick was kicking and screaming like a little child who didn't want to go to bed.  
  
He threw Flitwick against the wall.  
  
"Stand up and fight you coward!" yelled deranged Flitwick.  
  
"He's worse than Sir Cadogan at Hogwarts!" whispered Snape to Sybil.  
  
Flitwick was rewarded by a smack by the gypsy.  
  
"I'll wring your neck!" screamed Flitwick, looking up at the gypsy who was so fat, that the neck didn't exist.  
  
The gypsy responded by just throwing Flitwick aside with a grunt.  
  
  
  
  
  
Flitwick stood up and said: " Well I'll have to use logic, won't I?"  
  
As the gypsy talked with his friends, Fliwick used the opportunity.  
  
He sneaked up behind the gypsy, took a long watermelon, and a chair.  
  
He got up on the chair, and hit the gypsy from the behind on the head with the watermelon. The gypsy fainted.  
  
"Fight dirty!!!" squealed Flitwick victoriously with the watermelon in the air, like the Statue of Liberty. * No insult America! *  
  
His friends cheered, crowding around him. Flitwick got the watch. Suddenly, Snape spotted a shadow moving in the distance. Macnair!  
  
He told them, and they followed him.  
  
Unfortunatey, Macnair spotted them and begun to run. Everybody followed him, except Snape. He remembered something…..  
  
  
  
  
  
When Macnair thought he lost them, he stopped. But when he looked forward, his eyes met those of a panther. Macnair shrieked in horror.  
  
The panther was huge, about size of man, and wore a special necklace. He didn't know it was really Snape as an Animagus!(Remember the chapter 'Shopping in Yugoslavia' where Snape bought a necklace that could turn him into an animal? If you didn't, read the chapter again.)  
  
The panther snarled at him and leapt for attack. Macnair fainted in horror.  
  
Snape in his Animagus form looked down on him in hatred.  
  
Suddenly, the rest of our friends came by to see a panther snarling on fainted Nott. They took out their wands to stupify the panther when the panther changed itself into Snape. They were surprised.  
  
"My watch is broken! Those fools cheated me!" yelled Flitwick, producing an ancient, broken Swiss watch. 


	8. Karate lessons in Germany

Crazy Quest (Dushan is my character. Everyone else is J.K. Rowling's.) Please review!  
  
Someone must have called the Ministry of Magic because the Aurors were barging in at once yelling 'Freeze!' (Probably watching too much television). Our friends were once again given a.portkey (no prizes for guessing). Flitwick was taken back to Hogwarts as the rest of our heroes were found standing on a street.  
  
"Do you know where we are?" asked Sybil, looking curiously around.  
  
"I'm not sure." answered back Severus, but when he understood what language the people were communicating he knew, "We are in Germany. I know some German!"  
  
"Here, look, what does this say?" asked Dushan, indicating to a sign in front of a building.  
  
"'Karate lessons. Pay it forward. No discounts included.' It's karate lessons!" exclaimed Snape.  
  
"So yeh said," said Hagrid, " Ah'd really like ta learn karate! I heard somethin' about them!"  
  
"What is karate?" asked grumpy Filch.  
  
"Karate is a muggle way of fighting," Sybil calmly explained.  
  
"Let's go there!" yelled excited Hagrid, pulling them all into the building.  
  
As they arrived in front of the door of the karate-training center, everybody puffed up their chests (to look strong and dangerous) and went inside. But a horrible surprise met their eyes..  
  
"Oh my god!" howled Filch, "They never said it was for kids!!!"  
  
And there they were. About 10 little 'brats' were doing skipping exercises in the middle of the hall. The trainer in the middle saw our friends and pointed at them. "You!" he ordered in German, " Get in the circle! NOW!" he barked.  
  
Our poor friends got into the circle and began doing exercises.  
  
"You lousy man! You can't even skip!" the tormentor yelled at Filch, who was desperately trying to skip, but looked like an overgrown child.  
  
"You big oaf! Stop being so clumsy!" the trainer growled at Hagrid, while Hagrid tried to stop himself from hitting the trainer.  
  
"You're so soft! Shape yourself up woman!" the host barked at poor Sybil.  
  
The trainer rolled his eyes at Dushan, but when he came to Snape, he crossed the line.  
  
"Hey, slimeball! Wash your hair!" the trainer jeered.  
  
"Oh, shut up!" growled Snape, as Severus gave a powerful punch to the trainer.  
  
The trainer fainted. Everyone cheered, even the kids!  
  
"Severus that was brilliant!" cheered Dushan.  
  
"That man was worse than yeh!" complimented Hagrid.  
  
"Thank god!" screamed Sybil.  
  
"Well, well, Severus. Friends with the dump of Hogwarts?" sneered behind them an unpleasant familiar voice.  
  
"Lucius, I never thought you of all people will be doing karate with children and let a muggle bully you!?" said sarcastically Snape back to Lucius Malfoy.  
  
Lucius grew red.  
  
"Trying to catch all the Death Eaters, tratior?" hissed Lucius, "Come and get me!" Lucius ran out the back door.  
  
Our friends ran after him. They came out on a street. They decided to split up to look for Lucius.  
  
  
  
  
  
Snape ran and at the same time he put on the necklace. He immediately turned himself into a crow.  
  
He flew up a building. On the roof was Lucius. Damn! thought Snape, he must have apparated!  
  
Snape as a crow, swooped down and knocked Lucius' wand out of his hand.  
  
"What?" gasped confused Malfoy.  
  
Snape turned himself into a panther and pounced on Lucius. Lucius jumped off the building. Snape couldn't believe it. He ran to the side of the building and saw Lucius on his broom.  
  
"That man knew we were coming." Murmured Snape.  
  
Severus saw Sybil was on the street. She didn't see Lucius Malfoy creeping up behind her. Severus called to grab her attention, but it was too late. Lucius disarmed her and caught Sybil. They together swooped up into the air.  
  
Snape immediately turned himself into a creature and flew up to follow them. Lucius soon saw what was following them. He screamed.  
  
Confused Snape looked down and saw what he was. He gasped. He was a dragon! And a Hungarian Horntail at that, he thought.  
  
When he was close enough, Severus turned himself into a serpent and coiled himself around Lucius. Lucius lost control of the broom and they went down. at once they stopped in mid air.  
  
Dushan! He used his magic to stop them from landing on the street, to their deaths. They were carefully lowered down. When they reached the ground, Snape released his grip and turned himself into a human. They stupefied Lucius.  
  
"My hero!" gasped Sybil, as she hugged Severus and kissed him hardly on the lips.  
  
The others hooted and cheered.  
  
"You like Sybil!" teased Hagrid.  
  
"Oh, shut up!" said Snape, wiping the lipstick off his face. 


	9. We're back!

Crazy Quest Writer's Note: O.K. everyone, this is the last chapter. Sorry it took so long, I was on holiday in Yugoslavia. By the way, REVIEW!!!(Dushan is my character. Everyone else is J.K. Rowling's.)  
  
Our friends took Lucius Malfoy to the German Ministry of Magic. Malfoy gained his consciousness and before he was taken away he told Snape:  
  
"One day you'll pay for this!"  
  
Snape just looked at him and didn't say a word.  
  
******  
  
It was time for our friends to go back to England. It was planned that they will go by ship. As they were about to leave, they talked to Dushan for a while.  
  
"Goodbye Dushan!" said Snape, " And thank you again for helping us!"  
  
" 'ope yeh will come to Hogwarts one day!" exclaimed Hagrid.  
  
"So you can show him Fluffy?" joked Sibyl.  
  
"Or maybe swim with the squid!" chimed in Argus.  
  
"Well thanks for inviting me, but I really have to go home." Explained Dushan.  
  
They all bid each other good bye and went on with their way.  
  
*****  
  
On the ship they had a great time, well almost all of them. Argus kept getting seasick.  
  
Hagrid tried to get a suntan by laying on the deck of the ship, but didn't succeed (imagine getting a suntan on the North Sea, eh?).  
  
Trelawney kept looking in her crystal ball to see the future, but saw only a fog. When somebody asked her about it, she only shortly answered that there will be a mist. She was right.  
  
Snape just sat playing chess for money with the tourists and ended up with the tourists looking angry, giving him the money and cursing him for being so good.  
  
The journey went on for a few days when they at last came to British soil.  
  
******  
  
"So, my friends, how did you like your quest?" asked Albus Dumbledore the exhausted friends.  
  
They all just smiled bitterly and said that they had a great time.  
  
"Oh, if you really enjoyed yourselves, then I should send you on another one!" he answered to their horror.  
  
When he looked up, there was no one in the room. The door was wide open.  
  
"Uh, guys?" called Albus uncertainly.  
  
*****  
  
Epilogue: Our friends went to many more quests. Severus and Sibyl got married, Hagrid got a small pet dragon and Filch got a new mop. But that is another story.  
  
THE END  
  
Writer's Note: So guys, did you like it? Tell me through your reviews if I should write a sequel, who was your favorite character and which was your favorite chapter. Otherwise, I'm planning to write a new story called 'The Vampire Half'. 


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